Confidence

As a woman I sometimes struggle with confidence, as a person with fibromyalgia I struggle a lot with confidence when it comes to physical things.  I don’t always know how my body will react and how it will affect me…like my spring crazy horse.  After a winter with several injuries on my part I was not able to ride as consistently as I wanted with Ace.  When I went to the barn yesterday to ride my sweet fuzzy  horse, I was met by a spring crazy fuzzy mud monster.  I had anticipated him being a bit crazy and out of sorts, which led me to lunge him first.  Lunging Ace usually gives me a pretty good idea of what kind of ride I am in for, today was cantering, bunking and rearing.  I spent most of the winter recovering from one fall after another and was not prepared to get on cantering and bucking Ace, I had lost my confidence.  The whole time Ace was being his crazy self (which I have come to know well and truly love) Theresa was mucking stalls in the stalls behind the indoor.  I would be lunging and see her walk by as Ace continued to be his spicy self.  Once Ace was finally listening and doing what I asked, I had a choice to make.  My first choice which is what I had decided on when I saw how spicy he was today was to only lunge him and not ride, I however chose option two be brave and get on.  I yelled to Theresa that I was getting on, and climbed aboard.  Once seated safely in my saddle I took a deep breath, I asked Ace to walk.  Ace took my cue to walk and we walked calmly off … until I asked for a trot then he offered his rodeo horse impression.  Ace is the first horse I have owned, needless to say I was not prepared for him.  Since landing at Troyer’s Equimeadows I have spent many hours with Theresa Troyers and Ace learning how to handle my horse and his big personalty and quirks.  Theresa has taught me how to be big and loud and brave to conquer my 1200 pound beasty.  This brings me back to confidence I don’t know how many times I have thought to myself in stressful situations that If can handle Ace I can handle anything!  Ace and Theresa have taught me to be brave, courageous and confident in more than just horsemanship.  I by no means consider myself trained and ready for the world with Ace, I look forward to working with Ace and growing our relationship together.IMG_1092

2 thoughts on “Confidence

  • I had a really bad accident where I ended up with a broken back and after that it was so hard to get my confidence back. I ended up on a 3 year old barely broke horse that wouldn’t move and I was terrified to kick her for fear of her rearing up and it took my old fashioned cowboy boss running behind me with a whip to get me to kick that mare forward! I was much more afraid of him coming near her with a whip than what she would do in reaction to my leg! Horses will always be a good teacher one way or another 🙂 Good luck with Ace. Better to have some spunk than to be a boring ride 🙂

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