Poor Life Choices

Poor Life Choices

In an effort to protect my husband, my girls and the lovely woman who does barn chores for us I chose today to try to catch Rooster Soup.  You might be wondering why we named our rooster Rooster Soup well he was originally called Handsome Rooster Man.  Rooster decided it was fun to charge the humans and try to maim them hence getting him a new name.

I began my approach to the lair of Rooster Soup hoping to have the element of surprise.  As I rounded the coup he let out a loud crow telling me he was ready for the showdown and the OK Corral.  Not to be daunted by his threats I stepped over the electric net fencing. . . catching my foot in the net and gracefully almost going facedown in the foot deep mud that is my laneway behind the barn.  As Rooster laughed at my misfortune I mentally prepared myself.  My plan was to just grab him. . . be fearless of the GIANT HUGE ROOSTER hell bent on pecking out my jugular and watching me bleed to death.  Well to say after he started charging me I was gripped with fear.  Putting my hand anywhere near said charging heap of evil feathers was not going to happen in that moment.  Cursing myself for not bringing a weapon with me . . . scratch that an item of self defense I resolved to get the job done.

Plan B herd Rooster into a smaller space inside the coup and catch him there.  In my mind this was a good idea less mud for me to walk through and less room for him to get up speed charging at me.  As I entered the coup behind him I saw the gleam in his eye . . . he had the home field advantage.  He walked into a corner and I thought now is my chance!  I realized to late as I reached down that it was a trap.  Rooster had led me into a false sense of courage and tried to promptly remove my hand.

At this point my judgement might have been clouded by the annoyance at being bested by a Rooster.  I made one last attempt to catch him.  Taking a deep breath armed with a trash can lid I made my move.  I thought that I had him pinned however he was in the corner making it impossible for me to fully pin him.  As I realized my mistake he came flying at my face I’m sure planning to pluck out my eyes.  I escaped narrowly deciding I would in fact need reinforcements to get the job done.

Rooster Soup lives to fight another day and I live to reevaluate my life choices in letting the roo live in the first place.

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